PRACTICAL TIPS AND HELPFUL HINTS

2. Discussing Religion, Philosophy, Politics etc.

“It is important not to put an inmate off by what you discuss. The prisoner will probably feel “I’d rather you walked beside me than showed me the way”. As in all friendships, the relationship will not benefit from the imposition by one party on the other of ideas or creed which the other may not welcome. The inmate, in a sense, is your captive. Do not take advantage of this by, for example, evangelising or making him talk about a subject which he feels uneasy. This can happen particularly easily in the area of religion, and to a lesser extent, politics. A spell in prison is a time of crisis, when emotions are in a kind of melting pot and subject to unusual stress, so a prisoner may well be more malleable and open to influence than at other times. We have to be careful not to misuse our position: a constructive approach is to try to help him build up his own ideas. Reinforce his self respect when this is low, gently showing him that he is worth something at a time when he probably feels that life has lost much of its value.” (NAPV)

This is not to say that religion should not be discussed. For some, this is what they want and need more than anything. Like everyone they have a spiritual hunger and are often searching for truth and the meaning of life. If they are happy about your sharing with them your beliefs, knowledge and understanding, then it is absolutely right to do so. Sensitivity is what is required so that you do not force down his throat something that he does not want yet, but may be too polite to reject.

The Prisoners’ Friends’ Association is a non-religious organisation. This does not exclude religion, far from it, but it does mean that we are meant to be-friend to those of any religion or of none. The criterion is that they are someone or anyone in need of friendship.

It is also worth remembering that the prisoner’s values and priorities may be completely different from your own. This may be due to his different upbringing and circumstances. Again, non-judgmental understanding is what is required, though you can help him to re-evaluate what is important by helping him to consider other options.

Your Attendance At Court Hearings

Should your friend have to go to court he may be very grateful indeed to have your presence there. It can be a very frightening and worrying experience and a lonely one too. A surprising number of prisoners are really touched when their visitor takes the trouble to pop in to be with them and give them some moral support and share the experience with them.

Occasionally the prisoner may prefer for you not to be there. In which case, we should respect their wishes.

Letter Writing

It has been said that a letter is more important than a visit. We would encourage you to write regularly if you can. Send postcards and Birthday, Christmas, Chinese New Year cards if possible: they are always appreciated far more than the effort required to send them. More details on letter writing are in Section 4 – Pen Friends.

Encouraging The Prisoner To Study

We would suggest that you encourage the prisoner to use his time as usefully as possible. It can be a good opportunity for them to study and this can be arranged with the help of the CSD.

Some courses are available and others can be arranged by correspondence.

Reimbursement Of Travelling Expenses

You are encouraged to apply for the reimbursement of your travelling expenses. Please see Section 7.